You'll make it anywhere
by moriartyshouseparty
Summary: It's a new year which means new memories for Blaine at McKinley. Paired with nightmares and self doubt and no Kurt to help him, Blaine has to decided whether or not the bright lights of New York is a better match for Kurt then he will ever be.
1. Chapter 1

"There's a bomb Blaine."

"I know Kurt. Keep talking."

"I don't want to go Blaine."

"Go where Kurt?"

"To Heaven, if I get in anyway."

"Well you got in NYADA, that's basically Heaven."

"Not the time Blaine."

"Kurt, you know I love you."

"I know Blaine."

"You know that for sure, Kurt?"

"You couldn't love me more if you tried."

"I'll miss you Kurt."

"How could you not?"

"This can't be goodbye Kurt!"

"Blaine. I. Love. You. But you have to go ahead without me."

"I don't want to Kurt."

"Go Blaine, go on."

"I love you."

"I lovNO-"

-Call dropped.

Blaine awoke drenched with sweat. He tried to catch his breath, but failed miserably. He held onto the headboard for support as he glanced at the clock. 3:46am. It was way to early to bother Kurt again, yet Blaine couldn't bring himself to go back to sleep, he wasn't sleeping again for a while. He walked to his bathroom to get a towel; he wiped off the sweat and tears from his face. His family were away for the weekend, leaving him completely alone. He checked the time again, '3:52am'. He wished he could have just one night sleep that wasn't filled with the sweet asphyxiation he was used too. He slid down the bathroom sink until his head rested on the cold porcelain. "Porcelain" He chuckled to himself, he loved that nickname, he'd use it himself if it wasn't so offensive. Everything everywhere reminds him of Porce-Kurt, it reminds him of Kurt. The towel he just used, Blaine used that to dry Kurt's tears after the whole Karofsky incident. Blaine's bathrobe, it used to be Kurt's, hence the leopard print tie, but Blaine liked it so much that he just…stole it.

Blaine found himself taking sleeping pills again for the ninth time this week. A dangerous overdose, but if it made Blaine sleep, he was willing to try it. Blaine woke up, still under the sink, at 7:30am. He had stirred around five, but luckily he didn't completely wake up. He groaned, he knew it was the first day back today. No Rachel, no Finn, no Puck, no Mercedes, no Kurt, great, no Kurt. He considered calling Kurt, but he realised Kurt would already be warming up his vocal and stretching, and Blaine certainly did not want to interrupt that. He got up, his back was in so much pain, and he needed urgent painkillers, another drug within the space of hours. He dressed himself, three-quarter length cut off trousers, favourite sweater vest and a small Warblers pin he keeps on the inside of any shirt collar he is wearing at the time. Blaine had considered returning to the Warblers ever since Kurt got into NYADA, there wasn't anything left for him at McKinley now, sure the people were supportive, but Dalton always had this homely feel to it, it had a certain way over him.

Blaine was happy that Glee club took up all of first period today; he couldn't be bothered with all the heckling from people who really should act their age. Holiday chit-chat was boring to Blaine, he almost fell asleep during Mike and Tina's summer get away, he slept though Artie's summer camp for kids with…something or other, and ignored all question directed to the velvet blue bags under his eyes. Rory caught up with him after Glee.

"Hey Blaine, nice to see you again!" Rory chirped.

"God, I thought you finally went home." Blaine grumbled, quickening his pace.

"Ah, well, no, but, oh, I'll go." Rory said, quickly evacuating the situation.

"Harsh." Artie sneered as he rolled past. Blaine just grunted, he could not be bothered for 'Glees all homemade self-improvement through song' scheme. The club were meeting again at lunch for a first new club sing through. Blaine didn't show.

Blaine had no texts from Kurt, worrying, usually by now he would have around twenty or so. Blaine snuck into the choir room at lunch, while the other Glee members were in the auditorium. He called Kurt, he got increasingly worried as the rings went by, but eventually a chirpy voice greeted him on the other end of the line.

"Blaine!" Kurt giggled, "Hi there stranger!"

"Kurt, you're alive! Awesome!" Blaine sighed with relief.

"Of course I'm alive! H…has something happened?" Kurt replied, he sounded worried.

"No…no, just a nightmare, that's all, how's New York?" Blaine stumbled on his words.

"New York is AMAZING!" Kurt sang, "I'm all moved in to the dorms, which by the way are fabulous! And the scenery is just…"

Blaine listened to Kurt babble on, laughing when he though he was meant to, 'oohing' and 'aahing' when he saw fit, the only problem was is that Kurt wasn't actually there. Kurt wasn't there to talk to Blaine about his nightmares, nor was he there to pick Blaine's daily bowtie or sock colour. Kurt was gone, to this new life, new friends, probably a new love, nay, definitely a new love. Blaine knew that it wouldn't be hard for Kurt to find a new boyfriend in musical theatre. Blaine knew he was disposable to Kurt, he was holding him back. Maybe it was better to cut ties with Kurt now, before it would get too bad. Yes, let the cutting ties processes commence, maybe that will stop the nightmares.

Blaine listened to Kurt drabble on a bit more about New York, then promptly hung up without even saying goodbye. Kurt called back a few seconds later, no answer. Kurt was puzzled, had he annoyed Blaine? Was there anything special today? Ah. Yes. Blaine's first day back at McKinley. Kurt decided it was better to give some room to Blaine, just so he could call him back later, Blaine needed space to breath when he was angry, that was all. Kurt promptly texted Blaine, "I love you, have a good day at school hun!" Then went back to rehearsing his first song at NYADA, 'Somewhere Only We Know.'


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Blaine went at Lunch; he couldn't be bothered with the dullness of school. Kurt always added a splash of colour wherever he went; McKinley was no exception to the rule. Blaine never answered Kurt's text, or Rachel's, or Arties, he spent the rest of the day lay on his bed thinking, and most likely sleeping. He spent most afternoons like that, mainly catching up on the sleep he lost the prior night. It was around 7:30pm when Blaine woke up again. He checked his phone – '8 Missed Calls, Hummel, Kurt. 9 Missed Calls, Berry, Rachel'. Blaine chuckled to himself; he had always wondered would have happened if he chose Rachel over Kurt. He knew he loved Kurt, but it wasn't to bad to just consider it? Surely not. He doubted it would ever work; Rachel was too big of a person for Blaine. He needed someone cool and sarcastic, God knows how Kurt and Blaine have stayed together this long truly is a miracle, a wonderful miracle.

Blaine decided to call Kurt, why not? He wasn't succeeding with the cutting ties method wasn't really working.

"BLAINE! Oh gosh, I thought you hated me! Hi!" Kurt screamed.

"Kurt! I could never hate you!" Blaine winced, "I was just really tired, that's all."

"Why? Were you up late doing school work, how is school?" Kurt replied, all in one breath.

"No," Sighed Blaine, "Just a nightmare, how are you?"

"I'm fab, now about this nightmare!" Kurt said, missing Blaine's attempted topic change.

"It was nothing, I can barely even remember it." Blaine lied.

"Science says you can remember nightmares more than dreams, so, spill it!"

"Kurt, it's fine, nothing out of the usual!"

"Nothing out of the usual? Blaine have you had many of these!" Kurt blurted out.

"No, no, no, no! Just one every few days or so.-"

"What? Blaine why didn't you tell me? DO you need me to come home?" Kurt sighed.

The truth was yes. Blaine wanted Kurt there, the hug him, kiss him on the brow and tell him it's okay. He wanted Kurt to be lay on his bed, babbling about Barbra or whining about Whitney. But no, Kurt just had to be in New fucking York.

"No, no you don't have to come, I'm fine without you." Blaine growled.

Kurt paused.

"Oh, Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt whimpered, as if he were bursting into tears.

"Yes. I'm fucking fabulous." Blaine snapped as he slammed the phone down.

Another week at McKinley passed. A 'new' topic in Glee club, 'Change.' Fantastic. On Tuesday, new members were auditioned, all of whom, bar one or two, were admittedly dire and in need of a tuner, but still they were accepted as the 'fresh meat'. Blaine didn't quite catch their names, he knew one for certain was a sweet girl named Hannah. A fantastic voice, though slightly overshadowed that everyday she wore a different colour and wig to suit each Disney Princess. However as the weeks dragged by at McKinley, the colours and wigs faded in to ribbons and bracelets, though still very noticeable. There were three new members of the 'New, New Directions.', one of which was Hannah. The two others were a bratty cheerleader named Becky, who was obviously only in there for the sparkly dresses, and a guy named Lawrence, who obviously was in it for the same reason. The week went by, and all produced a different song. On Monday, Tina sung 'Black Roses Red, by Alana Grace' a nice song, though not Blaine's cup of tea. On Tuesday Sugar and Rory sung the song 'Don't Go Breaking my Heart'. God knows how that was in the context of 'Change' but it seemed to pass well with Mr. Schue, then again, everything passed with Mr. Schue. It was on Wednesday when Blaine left early, making an excuse for a suit fitting. Sam announced he was starting up the Justin Bieber act yet again for any newcomers of 'New, New, Directions' if they'd be so dumb…kind enough to join.

Blaine hadn't spoken to Kurt in two days, a new personal record. He decided he'd wait for Kurt to call him. Instead Blaine texted Sebastian, who almost immediately texted back. Every time Blaine was failed by Kurt, he would immediately text Sebastian, or meet for coffee, or lunch, or dinner, what ever worked best at the time. Sebastian was fun to be around, he was calmer than Kurt, more sharp edged and quick. He didn't spend all their time together talking about ill-stocked sheet music or broaches from foreign countries that Blaine swore didn't exist. It was a nice change from the norm. "Maybe there's a song somewhere in this?" Thought Blaine, though he really couldn't care less.

Blaine skipped Glee club on Thursday, he had a World History test which was more important than Becky's first big fantastic entrance into the chorus of Glee club. He spent the entirety of lunch in the library trying to read up on the Mongles whilst waiting for Sebastian to text him back. Instead he received a text from Kurt. Blaine mentally slapped him for being disappointed at it. It read, "Hi stranger!x" Blaine was about to reply, when a text from Sebastian dragged him away. He never replied to Kurt, he'll just talk to him later.

"Come visit the homeland sometime Blaine, yes?xx" – Received from Seb.

"Yeah I'd love too! When are you next free?xxxx" – Sent to Seb.

"Tomorrow? We haven't seen each other in ages!xx" – Received from Seb.

"I'll be there!xxx" – Sent to Seb.

"You better be Hon'!xxx" – Received from Seb.

Blaine threw his phone between his hands in excitement, it had been ages since he'd been back, but it was definitely the homeland. He still had his old uniform somewhere, maybe it's a sign, change is the topic at McKinley, maybe it's not such a bad topic after all…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three.

Another nightmare. Another sleepless night spent under the cool porcelain of the sink, though this time with added bile, mainly due to the small overdose of sleeping pills he had taken before. He thought about texting Kurt, though – "Waking up unintentionally is bad for the vocal chords!" as Kurt had spouted out countless times. He texted Sebastian instead, "Hey you!xxx". Blaine was surprised when he actually got a reply, one reason being it was 3:44 in the morning, another reason being it was almost instant. "Hola Night-Owl, what's keeping you up?xxxx"

Blaine went on to explain his nightmare. About how he and his Dalton friends were trapped in a huge fire and lost their beloved music coach, and how he thought he should stop taking the sleeping pills but he couldn't. Not once did Sebastian fall asleep or stop replying. The pair were talking for over two hours easily, though by the end both we're both far too tired to talk, so agreed to meet up the next morning for brunch and cuddles and call it a night.

"What's the story morning glory?" Sebastian snickered as Blaine arrived.

"Charming, panda eyes." Blaine retorted.

"Ooh, touchy, touchy, sit that tight ass of yours down and let's share an omelette." Sebastian giggled.

"Sounds delightful! Cheese and bacon with extra cheese and bacon?" Blaine asked.

"Wonderful! Any crispy bits of bacon are mine!" Sebastian laughed.

"You can fuck right off!"

The omelette was lovely, however the juice was too sweet for Sebastian, yet too tart for Blaine. They agreed to strongly disagree.

"Do you have nightmares often then?" Sebastian said, changing the topic of conversation.

"Every night this week, Baby." Chuckled Blaine.

"Really? You know you could've called me?" Sebastian said, a concerned look appeared on his face.

"You'd really stay awake for lil' old me?" Blaine winked.

"Of course! I hate to think of you just scared and alone all the night, it makes me sick!" Sebastian said, slyly reaching his hand across the table to hold Blaine's.

"Don't concern yourself! No one needs to worry about me!" Blaine cried, squeezing Sebastian's hand.

"Well I do, and you should care about yourself!" Sebastian said, leaning closer towards Blaine.

"Maybe it's because I care about others too much?" Blaine smiled, naturally leaning towards Sebastian so they two boys heads were touching.

"Mmm, you do, silly boy." Sebastian grinned, "Maybe I should stay with you tonight, make sure you're okay?"

"I'd love that, I really would."

"So it's a plan, I'll get there at eight?" Sebastian moved in closer.

"Why don't you just stay the whole day?"

"Gladly."

The Waiter awkwardly grabbing the check, giving the men the freedom to leave, pulled the two apart.

"So!" Sebastian grinned, "What next?"

"We could go to my place and hang there, I have a few levels of angry birds I need to complete." Blaine smiled.

"Dude, you're such a dork!" Sebastian playfully pushed Blaine.

"At least I'm not a…a…." Blaine lost his words.

"A what?" Sebastian leaned in again, "A nerd? A girl?" Sebastian chuckled.

Suddenly, Blaine's phone went off, obviously Kurt calling.

"You've got to be quiet when I'm on the phone, he'll freak out if I'm talking to you!" Blaine pushed Sebastian away, straight into a bush making the two of them burst into muffled laughter.

"Kurt! Hey!" Blaine answered, still giggling.

"Hi Blaine! How have you been?" Kurt answered flatly.

"Oh, you don't sound to happy, what's up?"

"Oh nothing, NYADA's harder than it looks. Rachel's doing fine, acing all the tests and the songs, I guess I just feel average."

"Kurt Hummel – Average" Blaine mockingly repeated, "Kurt Hummel you are not average!"

"I am! There are guys here who can sing higher than me! Me, Blaine!"

"So? You'll catch up. You've come so far in the two years that I've known you!"

"Thanks, I got to dash, its freshman auditions for the musical, wish me luck, Lord knows I'll need it."

"You'll ace it, see ya!"

"Oh, Blaine I-" '_Called Dropped'_

"Oh Lord, what a Drama Queen!" Sebastian laughed, pulling twigs out of his hair.

"Aww, don't be mean, he's sweet!" Blaine hastily replied.

"Whatever you say snook-kums." Sebastian said.

"Thanks, fat ass." growled Blaine jokingly.

"Cheers, now, how do we get to your place?"

"Follow me!" Blaine said, running off into the distance.


End file.
